Header picture. Just because it's a little green in now way reflects the environmental mess this product will make

Solar Flippin' Gardens

Solar Flippin' Gardens ™ (SFG) is a project to investigate the use of solar panels in gardens. They should not be walked on, or even remotely driven upon, they are not traffic bearing. Our panels contain sexy color changing LED lights to create a 70s style disco effect in your garden without needing a single glitter ball. They can provide an almost straight line border from LEDs for your garden to simulate that a nicely finished edging you couldn't be bothered to do. The shape of these panels allows for random plants to be placed at the back of the panel run to hide the gaps. Many people are shocked to learn these panels are made of crappy thin acrylic, not that nice high quality acrylic they sell on eBay. SFG panels have been tested and shown to support the weight of a cup of tea so the odd frog on the panel should be no problem. You can read more about the panel on our Specifics page. We are in the very early stage of development, absolutely nothing but a bit of fun is expected to come of this project. Please feel free to contribute and waste your time and money - please don't waste other peoples money, and especially not that of the tax payer when it could go towards healthcare and education. Eventually our panels will end up in the bin, please don't make too many of them.

We have zero external funding. Zip, nada, not a drop. If you want to send money for the project please give it to a charity instead (and not a US presidential charity, you know the one ;-) )

We will be able to do many wonderful things with this technology, just don't expect to see any scientific or remotely back-of-a-fag-packet calculations as to how it might even be remotely not a chance possible.

If you would like to Contact Us please don't bother, we won't answer your questions. Just have a moan about us on Twitter or YouTube, we love that. Ohhh, unless you want to become a customer, in which case, erm...... $$$$$$

If you would like to Contact Us regarding careers, seriously? You did an engineering degree and you want to work for us?

As this incomplete buggy grammatically incorrect and full of spelling mistakes website is a bit of fun and only went live in 2016 and took only a few hours to make please find our GitHub pages repository and do a pull request if you have a burning desire to fix stuff. Cheers!

Features:

  • Flat place to walk and drive: Nope!
  • Provides parking: Don't park in your garden silly!
  • Provides traction: Slippery as a snake oil sales-person.
  • Doesn't soften at high temperatures: Yep goes soft above room temperature.
  • Generates energy: If hot air counts as energy then sure.
  • Intelligent: well derr.
  • LED lights: Ohhh shiny...
  • Remains snow/ice free: You've got to be sh*tting me!
  • Impervious to potholes: No pot should be stored in these panels! Drugs are bad.
  • Can protect animals: Well it may not harm them.
  • Modular for faster maintenance: Sure, and you'll be replacing these often!
  • Requires no paint: Don't paint them silly!
  • Aesthetic benefits: Did we mention the shiny LEDs...
  • Has ROI: ROI is printed on the PCBs so, sure.
  • Facilitates energy independence: Nope, put some proper panels on your roof!
  • Can charge EVs with clean energy: Erm. Might charge your phone with QI (future product may not or ever actually exist).
  • Water can be stored, treated or removed: Water may leak into the panels....
  • Provides a "home" for small animals: Yep, cracks in the sealant allow ants to build in them.
  • Can provide emergency warning system: Don't be silly
  • Expandable Technology Package: They're internet connected so you know....

Usage:

  • These solar panels can be used to replace garden borders, normally reserved for plants.
  • Panels do not take load and should not be used for paving and in no way for a roadway.
  • They can be placed in dark areas and provide fun lighting.
  • During the summer your solar garden may even generate enough electricity to run a small micro-controller.
  • No more lawn mowing!
  • So many more possible uses I can't even begin to, na no others, that's it.

Low Maintenance:

  • No need to clear the snow off the panels, they self-heat to maybe even melt some snow.
  • Water proof! Tested to a depth of 0.000mm these panels can take a good splashing of water (provided it hits the top surface only and not the sides).
  • No need to cut the grass with these panels, they are ever-green (during night hours with green LEDs selected, green in no way refers to environmental credentials.)
  • Weed free! Maybe a few bugs in the electronics, nothing will grow on these panels.